Hearts and Heavenly Rewards

If only that were easier said than done, the losing heart part.

I am completely a people person. One of my gifts is compassion (or so I've been told), however, the enemy likes to twist this to his benefit, making me hurt so much when someone else does.

My flesh wants to fix all the broken around me, make it better, to the point where its unhealthy.

Celebrate Recovery would tell me to stop owning other's "stuff," Rana would tell me it's not in my domain.

We were sitting outside at camp, I was 17 she was probably 28. Lani was my small group leader. I shared my struggle with her, she could tell, I thought I did a good job of hiding it, apparently not. That was our first genuine heart to heart. I remember truly liking her then, we had talked some before, but never like this.

When walls start falling down that's when you really start to know someone. This was that moment for me, she knew my mess because she shared the same one earlier on.

I bet Lani thought I'd walk different after that week in Colorado. Surely, it was hard when I didn't. I went back to the partying not long after, when you're young and naive and broken that life is alluring.

It gives off the illusion that it will make things better and temporarily it does but eventually it crashes.

Lani never saw the fruit of her labor. Last I heard she moved to Hawaii, I wish I could tell her I turned out alright and that I get it now.

As believers we are called to love others, to pour into and disciple along the way as well.

 But the outcome of that doesn't rest on us. It belongs to the Lord, He allows us to be a part of His plan but He's still the One in charge.

 This is hard because when we invest we want to see the fruit of it, maybe though, we need to learn to be content with the fact that we won't, at least not with everyone or in this life.

The trials we endure (which includes the aches and pains of our relationships) are achieving for us an eternal glory that is worth so much more then any earthly reward.

This should be encouraging to us and make us want to pour out all the more.

Now I just need to learn how to do that without taking on the outcome.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galations 6:9