Marriage has been on my mind so much recently, mainly because Todd and I are attending a seminar in the next few weeks but also because Pinterest has sparked anger in me for the past six months and I'm finally willing to talk about it.
Scrolling through the wedding photos, the ones that look to pretty to be real life, you know the ones. I found myself thinking the thing I didn't want to, but once it entered my mind couldn't shake...how many of these relationships will end in divorce? Because statistically the odds aren't good. I can scroll to the bottom of "vintage weddings" and assume 50% of them won't last and some stats even say 60%!
I know I'm being such a kill-joy on a "lovey-dovey," day but stick with me.
Because somewhere along the way we've been deceived into thinking that that day, that ONE day is the end all. That the marriage is secondary to the wedding. That the attention to detail is more important then the attention given to the days to come.
When did that happen? That shift? My mom and dads wedding was thrown together in her parents backyard. I've heard other stories like this too from years past, the details taking a backseat, or maybe riding in the trunk. This was the norm.
But Pinterest has created a new norm, a monster norm . It's flung eager brides into a constant state of comparison and coveting. Focusing their attention on everything but marriage!
For the past 6 months, since we found out Harper had made a home in my belly, I've thought so much about what marriage will look like for Todd and I. Our lives are about to look so different. And now, more than EVER, I desire a healthy marriage.
I'm not going to pretend like I didn't care about wedding details, that would be silly and that would definitely make me a liar. Planning our wedding was something I enjoyed doing, and thats okay! But were I to go back, I think I would have told myself that this day, this one day, is just the first of many that mean SO much more.
That's the issue. That our society has placed an importance on something that needs to be secondary. It HAS to be secondary to marriage.
Sure our wedding was beautiful and I cherish the pictures. But that blurry day is long gone and now we've got a commitment on our hands. Something that takes work, lots of "I'm sorry's," and "You're rights." And GRACE. It's rewarding! And we love each other deeply, but if you throw two sinful people under one roof in any house and expect it to be perfect, you'll get anything but that.
Tonight, my dad came downstairs, taking a break from painting Harper's nursery (he's the best dad and is going to be such a good grandpa). I asked him what the next phase was, for us, after babies. He didn't skip a beat, "Raising your children and watching those around you get divorced."
Doesn't that just make you want to pray? Pray for your own marriage and pray for your friends marriages? And doesn't it make you angry?? Angry, that Satan is gaining footholds in this area and shifting our cultures view of commitment in general? Deceiving us and focusing our views of what's important elsewhere?
Cheapening love. Cheapening commitment. Cheapening marriage.
I'm waking up to this. And I'm just gonna pray.
Happy Valentines Day?
Be self controlled and alert, for your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in your faith, because you know that your brothers everywhere are enduring the same kinds of suffering.
1 Peter 5:8-9
-Kelsey
