Chapter 2: The "A' Word.

I wrote this blog post 2 days after the election.

I knew I wasn’t ready to share my unfiltered rant with the world but, but I hit post and let it sit live for a few days without anyone knowing (except a few friends I sent the link to) -- because, it felt a little freeing. But, then I decided to delete it and pray about my approach.

I like to think I’m an open-minded person.

That I can get along with those I don’t agree with.

That I seek to see all sides.

But also seek truth.

I’m about to go full bore, open heart on the journey I’ve been on regarding this subject for the past few years.

I’m aware there are several people, friends even who won’t agree.

And all I can say, is I’ve made my peace with the One who holds my heart, part of me seeking truth is choosing to seek it out despite the message I’ve been told since Sunday school.

Something I am called to seek and time and time again I end up in this place.

There is a chance I am wrong.

There is a chance you are wrong.

Jesus has much more to say about pride than of abortion or homosexuality, I just think we have to remember that.

To My Sisters Who Have Had an Abortion or Will...

I am so sorry.

I am so sorry that what I saw before I ever saw you was your belly.

I am sorry that I neglected to think on your life leading up to that walk to the clinic.

To what you’d been through. The pain. The tears. The fear.

I’m sorry I didn’t care.

I am sorry that I didn’t consider what life  would look like for you after birth.

I am sorry that YOU haven’t been seen.

I am sorry for ever casting an eye of judgment.

I am sorry for not practicing empathy.

I am sorry that somehow in the wake of a terrible circumstance you’ve found yourself in that YOU became the problem.

Chosen to carry the weight of a decision that was not all your own.

I’m sorry you were made to feel that it was.

Can I tell you? I SEE you now.

I see you.

You are not a problem.

You are important.

You are valuable.

You are worthy.

And I am so sorry that I or anyone else has made you feel less than that.

To My Brothers and Sisters of the Faith….

I love you.

We share a bond beyond this world and as I’ve listened to you, cried with you, prayed with you, sat at your table, rocked your babies and loved you, please, please hear me.

I’m not asking you to change your mind, that’s between you and the Lord.

I am asking you to seek Him on this, to wrestle, to question.

If that is a new concept for you - questioning Him, I’d encourage it all the more.

I am a skeptic by nature and I cannot tell you how much it has shaped me as a person, the nights of whys and the I don’t get this or that's.

He meets us there. He listens. He guides.

So here we are, we have chosen to be a voice for the unborn in our country over the voice of the born and it’s breaking us.

It’s breaking our witness.

It’s breaking our communities.

It’s breaking our relationships.

It’s breaking our church.

And I am terrified we will not recover.

Think of Jesus.

Who sat at His table?

Who did He willfully break bread with?

Who did He seek out?

And who shamed him for it?

Y’all, Jesus chose to sit at the table with the exact same people we’ve stood in opposition against over decisions/beliefs that do not change whether they could ever be called His Children.

If you want to be a voice for the unborn, fine.

But, we have to simultaneously lift our voices for the born in our country who have found themselves fearful, forgotten and discriminated against.  

Or we’re hypocrites.

Refugees.

Muslims

Latinos.

Blacks

And to the women who are choosing abortion.

If you are bothered by this.

Then open your home.

Offer her support.

You realize she’s not skipping to the clinic right?

You realize this circumstance sucks for her, right?

Offer her resources to help her during this season.

Offer to adopt her baby for crying out loud.

If we cannot be willing to support her by whatever means necessary, then we’re a clanging symbol.

Come alongside her and let her know she has options, because she does. That’s truth.

But don’t shame from the sidelines.

This is solving nothing.

It’s dividing our nation.

And is anything but representative of the Man we claim to follow.

Right now, we need to listen to the born.

To our neighbors.

To the outcry of minorities.

To the women who feel unseen.

We’ve been loud for so long.

Can we listen?

Can we listen and be okay with no reply?

Will we?

For the sake of the church will we?

For the sake of being reconcilers in this world, will we?

____________________________________________

And in the end, I cling to the truth that HE is Good.

When the world is broken, He is good.

When the church is breaking, He is good.

When I am saddened by my country, He is good.

When I barely want to claim my roots anymore, He is good.

I will continue to listen to this song on repeat in my home during a season where I am having to willfully remind myself of this goodness.

It is true.

Even when it feels false.

Thanks for crawling into my heart with me for a minute.

-Kelsey

P.S. If you ever want to process/talk with me offline, I am so incredibly open to that.