All The Things I'm "Supposed to Be," Good At (ugh, whatever society).

Cooking – I'm not, it's not fun, like even a little bit.

Arts & Crafts – I mean sometimes, but I work full-time so most of our crafts consist of me laying a sheet out on the kitchen table and she can have at it while I force myself to cook something. No big Pinterest projects in our house.

Doing my Makeup – Have you ever watched a contour video? I always leave confused. I know it's possible, just still...how?!

Keeping my House Clean – I can pick up everything on Sunday and the next day it's a mess again. I hope your messes look like our messes, shoes in every room, applesauce pouches on the floor, goldfish crumbs on the couch, cups upon cups on ever surface (although this is my contribution to the problem), Makeup all over my bathroom counter, dirty clothes. every.freaking.where.

Organizing – I used to love organizing, I still do this as therapy some weekends. I really do enjoy it. But, now it's just hard to find time and it feels like it being undone in a month isn't worth the doing.

Being a Mom – I have to proactively choose to not tell myself I am a bad mom in moments throughout the week. We have got to ease up on ourselves.

A Wife –  It is a struggle to find time to be intentional with one another, we have to be mindful of this weekly and it's hard.

My Job – This one's hard for me because I am a perfectionist and this is the easiest space for that side of me to creep up. I have to consciously work to remove my performance and identity. Because either way if it's good performance or poor performance it's an issue.


Working Out– More on this in a second.

I had a mentor tell me once that you can be good at everything, just not everything all the time.
I think back to that so often.

I will not always be a good mom, or employee, or wife or cook etc.
But some days I will be good at those things.
And on the days where I'm not, I need to extend grace to myself and move on.

Laying aside the societal pressures to be good at all, I've chosen one thing on the list that I've been SO BAD AT since Harper was born that's felt like the easiest one to tackle and actually measure.

Which counts for something right? I wouldn't even know where to start measuring my mom/wife stats and would probably just end up sad in the end, lol. If we're being real.

I've decided I want to workout regularly and I'm done using the excuse that I hate running and don't have time to go to a gym as a reason to not. I wrote about this AISLE9 today and would love to you to jump over and read. I think I've finally found a system that works for me and am bonus already feeling better and seeing results.

In all, it's glory, The Busy Mom's Guide to Working out at Home.                                                                                                                                                                                            
I hope you find this helpful, there's just too much content out there that makes us feel worse about ourselves. We need to help each other out, moms! Give me your tips on any of the above and I'll be your friend forever. : ) K, but really. I'll take it.

Thanks for sticking with me!

Kelsey 

8 Questions for the American Church

It’s not until very recently that I’ve finally decided to vocalize my thoughts both politically and spiritually. 

I can’t separate the two from what’s going on in our country,

they go hand and hand and the prayers of the latter concept influence the former.

For the past 10 years, as long as I’ve been walking with Jesus I’ve told myself numerous times, that if I ever wanted to have a political conversation or voice my opinion it would be over coffee. That, I was open to sharing how I felt but it would never be on social media.

The classic Christian reasoning guiding my decision…

• ·      We are called to break bread with one another and then it can lead to those conversations.
• ·      Everything (not everything) get’s misconstrued online, it has to be in person.
• ·      We have to be unified, don’t talk about it because you’re a witness.

I just don’t buy it anymore.

This is where the conversation is happening. 

Would I like to have it over coffee? 

Absolutely, send me an invite. 

But, the reality is our world is not becoming less digital, 

if I want a seat at the table it will be here.

Here's a look at where I'm at, the questions I’ve been asking myself the last year or so….

1. Why does the church talk about abortion and homosexuality? Why is those two subjects that have become a political flag for the church? Jesus didn’t talk about them hardly at all, so why does the church?
2. What about the women who consider the abortion? Does your church ever talk about the plight of those that have found themselves in the position where abortion feels like the only option? Do y’all talk about them? Or is it primarily about the baby?
3. What about birth control? Does your church talk about that?  I think we’d all agree that a major decline in abortions would be the goal, that no woman ever having to consider it would be ideal. So what’s the conversation around prevention? That feels like a practical conversation, that could lead solve real problems. What does your church say about this? 
4.  Does your church talk about the Black Lives Matter movement? Why or why not? If so, what do they say? If they don’t does it bother you? 
5. What does your have to say about immigrants? Both legal and illegal. Our Mexican brother and sisters are fearful and vulnerable right now. Does your church talk about this?
6.  What about Muslims in our country? Does your church talk about what they are enduring in our country right now? I read a quote that said “ISIS is to Muslims what the KKK is to Christians,” wouldn’t it be awful if you were associated with the KKK off the bat? 
7. On that note, does your church talk about the issue of White Supremacy in our country? What do they say? The hard thing is that currently White Supremacy and Christianity are going hand in hand – this is sticky. Will the church go there? Tear down the lies and the walls? Has yours?
8. What about refugees? What does your church say about what is going on in Syria? Is your church in favor or opposed to refugees finding a safe haven in our country? Why or why not?

And what about you? 

Do you think of these things like I do? 

This isn’t a jab at my church or church family, I love them dearly, I think most know this. This is however, a questioning of the American Church, what we’ve become and where we are headed.

I can’t believe that the church has chosen to stay out of the conversation of 2-8 based on political reasons; because 1 is political, and they've gone there full force. 

So, I have to sit back and ask myself why. Jesus talked about social justice issues, he honed in on them, reached out to the marginalized, became friends with the outcasts, called out those who didn’t (the Pharisees) and chose to break bread with the sinners.

I can’t for the life of me reconcile this with the American Church.

Fight or Flee.

I want to fix it, so I’ll fight to be a member of the church that I think Jesus wants.

But, this is hard and that’s okay.

Chapter 2: The "A' Word.

I wrote this blog post 2 days after the election.

I knew I wasn’t ready to share my unfiltered rant with the world but, but I hit post and let it sit live for a few days without anyone knowing (except a few friends I sent the link to) -- because, it felt a little freeing. But, then I decided to delete it and pray about my approach.

I like to think I’m an open-minded person.

That I can get along with those I don’t agree with.

That I seek to see all sides.

But also seek truth.

I’m about to go full bore, open heart on the journey I’ve been on regarding this subject for the past few years.

I’m aware there are several people, friends even who won’t agree.

And all I can say, is I’ve made my peace with the One who holds my heart, part of me seeking truth is choosing to seek it out despite the message I’ve been told since Sunday school.

Something I am called to seek and time and time again I end up in this place.

There is a chance I am wrong.

There is a chance you are wrong.

Jesus has much more to say about pride than of abortion or homosexuality, I just think we have to remember that.

To My Sisters Who Have Had an Abortion or Will...

I am so sorry.

I am so sorry that what I saw before I ever saw you was your belly.

I am sorry that I neglected to think on your life leading up to that walk to the clinic.

To what you’d been through. The pain. The tears. The fear.

I’m sorry I didn’t care.

I am sorry that I didn’t consider what life  would look like for you after birth.

I am sorry that YOU haven’t been seen.

I am sorry for ever casting an eye of judgment.

I am sorry for not practicing empathy.

I am sorry that somehow in the wake of a terrible circumstance you’ve found yourself in that YOU became the problem.

Chosen to carry the weight of a decision that was not all your own.

I’m sorry you were made to feel that it was.

Can I tell you? I SEE you now.

I see you.

You are not a problem.

You are important.

You are valuable.

You are worthy.

And I am so sorry that I or anyone else has made you feel less than that.

To My Brothers and Sisters of the Faith….

I love you.

We share a bond beyond this world and as I’ve listened to you, cried with you, prayed with you, sat at your table, rocked your babies and loved you, please, please hear me.

I’m not asking you to change your mind, that’s between you and the Lord.

I am asking you to seek Him on this, to wrestle, to question.

If that is a new concept for you - questioning Him, I’d encourage it all the more.

I am a skeptic by nature and I cannot tell you how much it has shaped me as a person, the nights of whys and the I don’t get this or that's.

He meets us there. He listens. He guides.

So here we are, we have chosen to be a voice for the unborn in our country over the voice of the born and it’s breaking us.

It’s breaking our witness.

It’s breaking our communities.

It’s breaking our relationships.

It’s breaking our church.

And I am terrified we will not recover.

Think of Jesus.

Who sat at His table?

Who did He willfully break bread with?

Who did He seek out?

And who shamed him for it?

Y’all, Jesus chose to sit at the table with the exact same people we’ve stood in opposition against over decisions/beliefs that do not change whether they could ever be called His Children.

If you want to be a voice for the unborn, fine.

But, we have to simultaneously lift our voices for the born in our country who have found themselves fearful, forgotten and discriminated against.  

Or we’re hypocrites.

Refugees.

Muslims

Latinos.

Blacks

And to the women who are choosing abortion.

If you are bothered by this.

Then open your home.

Offer her support.

You realize she’s not skipping to the clinic right?

You realize this circumstance sucks for her, right?

Offer her resources to help her during this season.

Offer to adopt her baby for crying out loud.

If we cannot be willing to support her by whatever means necessary, then we’re a clanging symbol.

Come alongside her and let her know she has options, because she does. That’s truth.

But don’t shame from the sidelines.

This is solving nothing.

It’s dividing our nation.

And is anything but representative of the Man we claim to follow.

Right now, we need to listen to the born.

To our neighbors.

To the outcry of minorities.

To the women who feel unseen.

We’ve been loud for so long.

Can we listen?

Can we listen and be okay with no reply?

Will we?

For the sake of the church will we?

For the sake of being reconcilers in this world, will we?

____________________________________________

And in the end, I cling to the truth that HE is Good.

When the world is broken, He is good.

When the church is breaking, He is good.

When I am saddened by my country, He is good.

When I barely want to claim my roots anymore, He is good.

I will continue to listen to this song on repeat in my home during a season where I am having to willfully remind myself of this goodness.

It is true.

Even when it feels false.

Thanks for crawling into my heart with me for a minute.

-Kelsey

P.S. If you ever want to process/talk with me offline, I am so incredibly open to that.